My Sixy Brain
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Get In Touch
  • Resources
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Get In Touch
  • Resources

Is the Worst-Case Scenario the Most Likely?

8/17/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
If you're a Six, you've heard that you succumb to worst-case scenario thinking. 

Read this blog post to learn how the term "worst-case scenario" almost kept me from realizing I was a Six. 

If you read that post, you know that a Six is situational in their assessment of worst-case scenarios. 

We aren't talking about the ULTIMATE worst-case scenario (like a nuclear bomb), we're talking scenarios like: 
  • My friend didn't call me back. She must be mad at me. 
  • I'm not going to be able to do a good job for my new client and they'll be mad and give me a bad review.
  •  My kids don't read enough for pleasure. 
In each case, these aren't life-threatening worst-case scenarios. It's really just my insecurity raising its ugly head and I imagine the worst.

The gift of the enneagram is AWARENESS. 

Once we realize that we are prone to worst-case scenario thinking, we can start to look for the signals our bodies give us when we experience anxiety.

For me, I realize I'm holding my breath and my heart feels like it's in a vize.

My thoughts are making me feel panic and I freeze!

It's at that moment that:
  • I STOP and take a deep breath. 
  • I name the fear that I'm having. Just dismissing it isn't helpful.
  • I realize that that is the worst-case scenario (or close to it). 
  • I then REPLACE that thought with the MOST LIKELY SCENARIO.

That's the key! Is there a better chance that the worst-case scenario will happen or the most likely scenario? 
  • Is it more likely that my friend didn't call me back because she's mad at me or because she's busy?
  • Is it more likely that my client will be mad or that they'll be happy since all the rest of my clients have been happy?
  • Is it more likely that my kids are going to be harmed from not reading enough for pleasure or that they're just too busy with school but will read for pleasure when they're able? 

I think you'll find this tool so useful. 

Next time you feel that grip of anxiety grab your heart and a terrifying thought seizes your mind, ask yourself, "Is this the worst-case scenario or most likely scenario?" 

If it's the worst-case scenario, flip it! 

​Will you try this and report back? I'd love to hear how it works for you! 
0 Comments

Are You a One or a Six?

8/17/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
When I took my first enneagram test, I came up as a One.

It made  sense to me because I sure do like to follow rules. 

This fact about myself drives my Eight husband CRAZY, but that's for another blog post. :-)

When I later figured out I was really a Six, the "following the rules" thing bothered me.

But then I realized, I only follow rules when I think they'll keep me safe. 

I actually have no problem breaking what I consider stupid rules that I preceive to have no bearing on my safety or the safety of those I love. 

Let me give you an example to clarify:

When my eldest daughter got her driver's license, the DPS made a big deal about how someone under 18 can't use their phone AT ALL while driving.

I was all for that! Texting is dangerous!

But the DPS woman specifically said you can't use even use Google maps.

How does one get from point A to B without Google maps??

I'd taught my daughter to follow the audible prompts on the map so she'd always be able to get where she was going without having to look at her phone.

Fast forward a couple weeks and my daughter was leaving our downtown church by herself at night.

She couldn't remember exactly how to get home, so she looked on Google maps before she left the parking lot, then dutifully turned off her phone and started heading home.

Or at least she THOUGHT that's where she was headed.

She ended up in a sketchy part of town, at night, by herself, and pulled over to turn on her phone and look at the map.

I was scared to death when I heard that!

She could have been killed! Car jacked! Or who knows what else?!

Following the Rule made my daughter LESS SAFE. 

So now I tell her I'll pay the ticket if she gets one for using Google Maps while driving (and she still has to use it only audibly and for no other reasons!).

A One would follow the RULE and not use Google Maps, but a Six follows what they feel is SAFE. 

If a Six felt safer following the 'no Google maps" rule, then they would, but it would be about the safety and not the rule itself. 

What example can you share of when you've chosen to not follow a rule because breaking the rule was safer? 

0 Comments

What is a Worst-Case Scenario?

8/17/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
I find some resources more helpful than others when learning about the Six.

The first book I read about the Enneagram, The Road Back to You, convinced me that I wasn't a Six.

He started the chapter on Sixes talking about some ultimate survival guide book and said that all the Sixes were out buying it. Since I hadn't, nor wouldn't, buy that book, I automatically assumed I wasn't a Six.

Also, the way the author described Sixes as always imagining the worst case scenario threw me off.

"I don't sit around worrying about the worst-case scenario."
​

THE worst-case scenario is a nuclear bomb being dropped where I live and my children being the only survivors.

And honestly, I don't spend much time thinking about that (not that the fear hasn't crossed my mind).

That said, just the other day my 15 year old daughter cut her foot on a rock in a river and I was CERTAIN she was going to die of either staph, tetanus, or a flesh-eating bacteria. No lie. That was my first thought and what I considered almost certain to happen. (She's fine, btw.)

I've now realized that I always imagine what I consider the worst-case scenario in every situation:
  • My daughter doesn't answer when I call her? She's just been killed in a car wreck.
  • My husband doesn't pick up when I call him? He's having dinner with another woman.
  • I notice that I'm bloated? I must have stage 4 ovarian cancer.
  • My friend doesn't respond to my text? I've offended her and the friendship of 20 years is over.

Thankfully, none of these scenarios has ever been true (for me anyway....but the scenarios I make up for myself are almost always based on someone else's experience, hence why they become my worst-case scenario). 

So don't think you aren't a Six just because you aren't a prepper and constantly worried that the world is soon coming to an end. 

Be aware of what your initial response is to any given situation. Do you automatically think of the worst-case scenario for that situation? 

Then you just might be a Six. 

I'll tell you how I handle worst-case scenario thinking soon! 
0 Comments

    Author

    Elaine Lambert loves her Sixy Brain. This blog is where she shares how she's learned to use her brain to help and not confuse her.

    Archives

    April 2020
    August 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

My Sixy Brain

A website and blog dedicated to Enneagram Sixes
Copyright 2020 Elaine Lambert
Website Design by me! ReadySetGoWebsiteDesign.com